Wednesday 17 September 2014

A Moment

Poem: Raymond Carver – Happiness
Transformation: Realistic Short story

A Moment
It’s five a.m. The alarm clock rings on as the troubled man awakens from his equally troubling slumber. He lays there, in his bed, unable to get up. He stares at the ceiling with his tired eyes, and sighs. He is sighing as he realises that, today, will be like every other day, in the troubled man’s life. He musters the energy to get up and out of bed. The alarm clock’s ring stops as the man turns it off, however its sound lingers through its echo around the empty house. The troubled man’s feet are greeted warmly by his antique Persian rug. The floor suddenly turns hard and cold as the troubled man steps onto the marble floor of his bathroom. The troubled man brushed his teeth and bathed a luxurious bath.

The troubled man’s house was large, for he was not without his riches, but none of it was enough to wash away his troubles. He made his way to his kitchen through the maze of corridors that was his house. The early sun’s rays painted his kitchen a glorious yellow through his glass wall overlooking the rest of the street. It was breath taking; however, not for the troubled man. He saw its beauty, but he also saw its ugly. The troubled man made himself a coffee and went to sit beside the large window overlooking his kitchen and living room. He looked at the beautiful day and thought nothing of it. This morning has been like any other morning for the troubled man. The troubled man sipped his coffee as his trace of thought was broken by the sight of two boys walking up the road. The man’s eyes lit up when he saw them. The two boys were delivering the newspaper. They had on their caps and their sweaters. One of the boys had a bag over his shoulder full of newspapers. The sun lit up their bright happy faces. They laughed and they played as they delivered their papers together. The man caught a glint of the sun against the white teeth of one of the boy’s ear to ear grin. The boys’ laughter and chatter ceased, but the smiles were there to stay on their faces as was the sun to the early morning sky. The silence was there yet so much could be heard and seen. Nature came alive during the silence. The birds were in song; the trees swayed in the wind; the silent flight of a butterfly proved a spectacle in the moment; this moment.  This moment that had seized the man and the two boys; this moment where the man looked over at the two boys, and noticed, that, above all things, they were happy. In this moment the boys weren’t saying anything to each other. They were nothing but a couple of young early risers, full of life, who were doing this thing together. In this moment, where the boys enjoyed each other’s company and were delivering the newspaper under the sun of the early hours of the morning, the new days’ adventures just waiting to behold them. It was in this moment where all the man’s troubles left him, forgotten for all space and time. The man continued to stare in awe. ‘They are so at ease!’ he thought, ‘They are so happy…’ the man said. It was only then that the man realised that, he was envious of them; envious of their youth; their energy; their happiness. He wished the moment could go on, forever. The man didn’t want to go back to his troubles; to the lifeless days of adulthood. He wanted to stay in the moment with the boys, where life shined brightly; where the beauty could take his breath away; where he could be happy, and content. The man wished he could reach out to the boys; the boys who were happy, delivering the newspaper, and walking together under the bright sun and pale moon of the crisp Wednesday morning. The man wanted to tell them to appreciate their happiness. He wanted to tell them to appreciate their life, before it leaves them; before they grow old. He wanted to tell them to use their imagination and go on adventures and build ships and explore space and slay monsters and save the universe; he wanted them to be happy, forever. He wanted to tell them, before it was too late, that this is the happiest they’ll ever be. That it only gets worse. But he couldn’t. The man knew he couldn’t, for many reasons. But most importantly, the man knew he couldn’t tell them that their lives will get worse; that they’ll have to work; and earn money; and pay to live their life of sadness, as this will rob them of their happiness now. And the moment will end. The man knew he had to let them be, that he had to allow their short happy lives to go on unharmed, for it doesn’t last long. The man knew they needed as much of it as they could get. The man stayed in the moment. He looked on, clasping at the last rays of life that emit from the boys. The man wished never to return to his troubles. The boys walked on, coming and going like a train of youthful radiance. In trying so hard to grasp, the man lost control of the moment, and alas, the moment had passed. The troubled man’s troubles returned. His head was swarmed with things he wished he could forget. The troubled man would be late for work today if he didn’t leave soon. The troubled man realised this. He quickly got up, tied his tie, and stepped outside, only to find a newspaper at his feet. The troubled man picked it up, but all the man saw was money and war. The troubled man wept. To himself, the troubled man thought about how horrid the world has become. He thought about how separate those boys were from it all. How separate all three of them were in that moment that had passed.

- Lemon Man 

1 comment:

  1. Well done Anas! This is a great piece of writing: interesting and a pleasure to read. There is successful interplay between the source text and the new text, and you offer a new insight and perspective on the poem.

    I think you could perhaps explore a little more why the ‘troubled man’ is so miserable; we could find out a little more about him. Also there are one or two moments where your expression is not quite clear.

    Finally, use more paragraphs! Use a variety of paragraph lengths in your writing.

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