3 REASONS WHY I AM BLAME THE UNDERGROUND...
To begin with, I am no snob towards public transport, I do not ride around everywhere in a black taxi or fly to school in a private jet- in fact I seem to spend at least a third of my life sitting/standing on train’s… (So I think I am entitled to have a little moan.)
1. Firstly, the main culprits for making me late to school everyday... PEOPLE WHO TAKE HOURS TO PUT MONEY ON THEIR BLOODY OYSTER. It’s quite simple really, you press ‘next customer here’, scan your oyster card and top it up; three simple steps that should take a person of minimal intellect no longer than 30 seconds… So I'm running late for school and see the last possible train to make it in tie comes in a minute. It would be possible, if I didn't have the constant misfortune of queuing behind an absolute invalid who doesn't have a clue what day it is let alone how to top up their oyster. Then after making me a good 2/3 minutes behind schedule have the absolute cheek to double check the money has gone on... OF COURSE IT HAS YOU IDIOT!!!
2. Please, please, PLEASE, do not walk in front of me on the underground unless your name is USAIN BOLT. There’s only a matter of seconds before my train arrives, I'm prepared to make an embarrassing sprint through the station to catch it…I am then stopped in my tracks by a sweet, little, old and (very deaf) old lady, clutching on to a walking frame, walking no faster than a mph.Whom, (to be perfectly honest) looks in no fit state to leave her sofa let alone be travelling on the underground. ‘Excuse me please… ‘Excuse me’… ‘EXCUSE ME PLEASE’… ‘EXCUSEEEEEE MEEEEEEE’... It is then I lose all hope of catching my train.
3. This may make me sound like a cold and heartless individual; but, there is nothing that frustrates more than people who jump in front of trains. Now, I am not passing judgement on suicide or anyone who wishes to commit it, I am simply saying that jumping in front of a train is an incredibly selfish way for one to kill there selves, not only is it traumatising and emotionally damaging to the train driver and anybody else that has to witness it; but it also a massive inconvenience for those who wish to use that tube line and ARE IN A HURRY!!! Put yourself in my shoes.. You've already been made very, very late for sixth form because of the idiot in the queue for the ticket machine and the sweet (but very annoying) old lady limping in front of you through the station. You finally make it the platform, and too your bloody luck see the train line has been closed! Then after a good ten minutes of ranting and blaming TFL for being so useless are told it's because 'someone has died'... I am then left standing at the platform looking like an unsympathetic bitch, who is very, very LATE FOR SCHOOL.
J. Lennie
ReplyDeleteThanks J. I love this! It’s a very funny, high energy piece of writing that grabs the reader by the throat and forces him/her to pay attention. Your writing is self-conscious and effective with good use of vocabulary and punctuation to achieve certain effects. You make it easy for the reader to imagine you becoming increasingly impatient and exasperated as the article progresses.
One thing I would like you to focus on is checking your work for accuracy. Tedious, I know, but you don’t want the quality of your writing to be undermined by avoidable errors. For example, you write ‘make it in tie’ in point 1. Can you check your post and correct any mistakes please?