Life and Death and Love and Fate and Lies and People

The story I am about to tell doesn’t include any characters based on real people, any similarities are solely coincidental. 

‘There are three things in life young man that you have to have: something to do, someone to love and something to hope for.’ The old man croaked at me, he was standing so close that I could almost taste the brand of cigarettes he smoked. His features were extremely defined; a nose which seemed too large for his face, his ears were also very large and so were his eyes, but I think that was the fact that they were magnified so much by his thick glasses. His jaw line for an old man was impressive; perhaps it could have cut glass back in the day. I did not know this man, which was surprising because I lived in a village with the population of about four; but I obviously looked like a friendly face to approach on a mild spring evening to talk about life. ‘I’ve got two of them. Thank you.’ He gave me a cold look and continued walking down the road to where I could only guess where his final destination lay. 

In my right hand I held two books, one of which was Breakfast at Tiffany’s and the other, poetry by Allan Ginsberg. I was meeting a person on a bench which overlooked the small village that I lived in. No matter what the weather was the bench was always cold, someone must have died on it a very long time ago. I was meeting a girl, a female, a person without a penis if you must know. She wasn’t a romantic option, trust me. Don’t get me wrong she was beautiful, she had hair a dark brown, so dark that it was almost black, but get it in the right light it glinted brown. Her eyes were very nearly black as well, but look for long enough brown was visible even if for a few seconds. Anyway, we had swapped books and we were just switching back, that was the only reason for our rendezvous, don’t get any dreamy ideas.  

I sat down on the bench, it was cold; she turned up and sat next to me about five minutes later. We sat there for about another five minutes looking down at the village, for some reason we found it strangely fascinating; we didn’t talk, we just breathed. Then to break the silence she asked if I had the books and I said yes, there was no need to lie. I put the two books in between the little gap between myself and her, she returned my book, A Clockwork Orange. ‘Walk?’ She asked. I looked into her eyes which seemed to have no end and then I finally nodded; to get to the forest where walking would usually take place we needed to wind our way through the alleyways and streets of the village. 

We strolled down the hill on which the bench was placed. There wasn’t much to talk about when it came to the village and its inhabitants. It was dull to say the least; I can only describe it as being an only child without any cousins and parents that rarely talk to you, and grandparents that don’t give you a sloppy kiss on the forehead when you see them. That is how lonely and depressing the village was. The girl was new to the village.
‘Why?’ I asked.
‘I didn’t want to, trust me, I could see no reason as to me moving to a place where they have the most boring people on the planet...no offence.’ She quickly replied.
‘None taken.’
We reached the end of the hill and started to walk past the first or last few houses of the village, it depended where you were standing. It was pretty much night time, the clock if I was at home would have struck ten when we turned to the conversation of people; people in general. We both decided that we did not much rather care for them. We did not like the way they lied, and talked and could let you down in so many different ways. We both had trust issues; that was obvious. She asked who had let me down; and I treated her to the story of my old school friend. He was new at my primary school, I would have been around six or seven, and so was he. After he had been rejected and laughed at by a boy who was supposed to show him around the school I volunteered to show him the disappointments of our prison; the way all of the taps leaked in the toilets and the way the basketball hoop had fallen down and was now merely propped against the post rather than on top of it. Then one day in high school when we were growing into men he posted a half naked picture of himself on the internet. People liked it; he grew self confidence, then he became a dick. That was that, the friendship was over. Just like that. Over. I then asked what made her so cold and she simply replied, ‘Someone promised they would always be there for me, but they weren’t.’ I left it at that, perhaps half a tear would have been in the corner of her eye; but I couldn’t see; but I sensed one was there. 

The village felt cold even though the air was humid. I think it was that kind of atmosphere. The village was still; if something moved you would know. There were about three people walking about; myself and the person without a penis beside me happened to meet all three of them. The first was a fairly young gentleman, he was cleanly shaven, but looked a bit socially inept. His hair was thick and red and it was pushed back with the help of a hair-band, his cheeks were rosy and his double chin was hard to miss, it seemed to engulf the collar on his freshly ironed shirt. He was on the other side of the road when we saw him, he was outside the butcher’s shop smoking a cigar, it wasn’t a Cuban cigar, they were hard to come by in these part. It was a long thin cigar. He spotted us over the road, and as soon as he did he took off his hair-band swiped back his hair with the hand he wasn’t holding the cigar in. He put the hair-band back on and whistled; the loud whistle that people do in the films when they’re in New York. It was ridiculous to do it in such a small village when the sky was virtually black. Anyway, beside this the person without a penis and I looked at each other and gave the look of ‘Oh God, another weirdo.’ Saying this, we still crossed the road, we even looked both ways before we did, that was ridiculous in itself, cars weren’t even parked, let alone driving at this time of night.
‘Gotta be careful you two.’ He whispered. I had no idea why he was whispering. He seemed to be a man of contradictions.
‘Why’s that sir?’ The girl asked, she was whispering and that was something that I had never seen before, the times I had had the pleasure of hearing her speak she was usually confident with her voice.
‘Fate and all, it’s all bullshit.’
‘Oh, don’t worry sir, I don’t believe in that.’ She replied quickly and had a slight smirk on her face.
The man with the hair-band struck his eyes to mine and questioned, ‘Do you?’
‘Well, I don’t know, sometimes I think so.’ I wasn’t going to lie; I was really bad at the whole act. I used to become sweaty and look all over the place. It was obvious. But as soon as I said ‘sometimes’ I knew that I had made a mistake.
‘I believe that you are an idiot. Why would the human race have a purpose or a reason to be here, or the reason for a person to be with another person? It’s stupid. Only people who cannot take the realities of this world believe in such fairy tale statements.’
‘Oh.’ I mumbled. I didn’t know what to say, he seemed like a timid man at first, but now his voice had raised and a cat had jumped onto a low wall to see what all the ruckus was about.
‘You probably think that you’re meant to be here. You think you’re meant to be walking with this lady. The lady you feel so much for. You probably think that you’re meant to spend the rest of your life with her.’ His eyes didn’t pull away from me during the speech.
‘Well, I don’t know about that.’ I replied.
The person without a penis interrupted and asked, ‘Oh, you don’t think that?’
‘I didn’t say that I do not not like you.’
‘What about the fact that you may not not not like me?’
There was a pause.
‘I’m going, thanks for the chat sir; I’ll take it in mind; it might become useful one day.’ And with that I crossed the road again and looked both ways. I didn’t wait to see what the reaction on the man’s face was; probably one of confusion. The girl came running after me and asked if I was okay. I nodded my head. The girl continued to say that she didn’t mean to make me uncomfortable and that she was just pulling my leg. After a short silence the girl uttered that she sort of believed in fate, but if she had shared it with the weird socially inept man there would’ve been an in depth conversation. ‘You need to learn to lie.’ That was her words of advice on that humid but strangely cold evening. 

We were half way through the village when I saw my neighbour June. She was a nosy old bag. She never let anyone have any secrets, so when I saw her I immediately thought that she would tell my mum about the little rendezvous I was having with the person without a penis that was stood next to me. I like friendships where it’s just you and another person; you don’t have to worry about meeting their friends, and being openly affectionate in public. When you truly get along with someone you don’t have to worry about always having a conversation in hand, their company is always enough.
‘Oh, hello, hello umm...’ The old bag stuttered.
‘Hello June.’ I wasn’t going to tell her my name. I told her every time I saw her.
‘Aren’t you going to introduce me to your little friend?’ She asked.
‘Of course, this is Miss. Fate.’ I smirked and looked at the girl, we were standing under a lamp post, so I managed to see a little brown in her eyes and it glinted, but as soon as I saw it the shade seemed to disappear.
‘What are you doing out this time of night?’ She continued to stammer.
‘I’m just dropping Miss. Fate home. She’s new to the village and she was lost. I hope you understand June.’
‘What I nice young lad. He’s a keeper isn’t he Miss. Fate?’ She managed to be looking at me and the girl at the same time. The person beside me just smiled and gave me a slight prod; I took the hint and said my goodbyes to June. 

We reached the forest, when entered the trees covered up the sky and the paths were pretty much pitch black. I found it relaxing. We talked about films, books and music; all the things I enjoyed about life. We managed to get to the end of the path without falling in the mud and making an embarrassment of our selves. At the end of the trail there was a junction; a left path and a right path, ‘Which one?’ she asked. I suggested that we should flip a coin; and so we did. The answer turned out to be left. The path was beside a lake, it was picturesque. The sky was also stunning. It seemed to be so many different colours.
We looked at each other and said, ‘Pick a colour on the count of three.’
‘1...2...3!’
‘Purple!’ I blurted out.
‘Peachy!’ She yelled.
We looked at one another and laughed.  Perhaps it wasn’t meant to be, like I said at the beginning. After walking another five or ten minutes she complained that her legs needed a rest. With that we turned off and went down a small pathway. It ended up by a stream, we decided this was a good place to sit; the ground was slightly damp, but not enough to leave a mark on my jeans and her dress. We sat down and talked about life, and talked about death, neither of which sounded too appealing. ‘Write me something.’ She said softly. I looked at her and said that I didn’t have any paper, or in fact a pen. As soon as I uttered those words she brought out a pen from her inside jacket pocket and held out her forearm. ‘I always needed a tattoo.’ I smiled and held her arm in front of me ready to write. It was very difficult. I was usually full of words but now I was empty. She said I could just sit there, it’s fine. I did just that and thought. She placed her head on my shoulder, it was heavy, I liked it.
‘Your heart’s beating quickly.’ She whispered.
‘I’m sorry. Maybe I’m just really unfit.’
‘I can feel it; I don’t like it.’ With that she raised her head back up and just sat next to me. After a few minutes a finally wrote, ‘I have created an idyllic creature who turned out to be true.’ She glanced at me and said, ‘I like it, it’s pretty.’ She brought her legs up to her chest and looked down. We sat there for a while in silence; even though we weren’t speaking I still enjoyed the company of her. 

‘Hi.’ A voice broke the stillness, and it was neither one of ours. We both jumped, I went so far as to stand up. Behind us was a young boy, he must have been around six or seven, he was holding his shoes under his right arm. His T-Shirt was red, so it illuminated terrifically in the dark.
‘Hey.’ The girl said.
‘I don’t want to get my shoes muddy.’ The little boy replied.
‘I’m sure we can take care of them for you.’ The girl replied to the reply.
‘What are you doing out here little man?’ I added.
‘My parents were arguing again.’ The boy continued replying.
‘I hate parents, they’re so frustrating. But it all blows over, come on let us take you back home.’ The girl suggested. The boy was happy to walk with us; he talked about how his parents shouted over the most stupid things. The girl contributed to this to say that her parents were divorced and that no-body would ever be as bad as them so his would be fine. She said that sometimes adults just shout at each other and argue to one another as to express their love, if everyone and everything was all hunky dory the world would be a rather terrible place. I didn’t have much to add on the subject because my parents used to sit in the living room at night and just fall asleep on different sofas without uttering a word. So maybe my parents were the least happy of all, more sad than those who shout and moan. 

We dropped the boy back home; he lived in one of the homes on the perimeter of the cold village. The door was open so we gave him a slight nudge and that was that. I never saw the child again. I never knew if his parents stayed together. I never knew if he became a slob. I never knew anything about him. 

I started to walk the person without a penis home and our hands brushed a couple of times. I think I looked into it a bit too much.
‘I don’t feel.’ She said out of the blue.
‘What?’ I replied, quite taken aback by such an abstract comment.
‘I don’t feel; me and you won’t go anywhere, it’s the closest I’ll get to liking anybody. It’s not your fault, it’s just the fact that I don’t love anybody and I won’t feel for anybody. I’ll let you down. I’ll make you cry. I’ll be a burden.’
‘You won’t be a burden.’
‘I will, you don’t know me.’
‘I know, but I want to.’ 

I saw her day after day after that day, every day was surreal, it was like I found someone that I could talk to about nothing in particular. Every day was a good day. 

Months’ past.

‘I found a guy. We go for walks. I just thought I’d tell you.’ She said on another cold evening overlooking the cold village.
‘Do you feel for him?’ I asked.
‘I don’t know.’

That was the one answer that said I would never be adequate. That was the answer where it justified all of my thoughts on people who lie. That was the answer that answered my queries on fate. That was the answer of my existence. 

I don’t know. 

D.R. Hayes

The Missing Star Spotted by Zero

First it started out as light rain, just normal rain. This was the late 21^st Century. Nobody thought anything of it. However, the rain continued, heavier and lighter, it depended on the day. But there was never a day where it didn’t rain. Then on the 25^th September 2187, the first major catastrophe hit London. A meteor. Not too big. The diameter was about five meters, but it catapulted right into the side of the Shard. An 87 storey skyscraper, which is now nearly 200 years old, it was well built, and survived the Third World War. It was once the tallest in Europe, but was overtaken by l'automne, in France a couple of decades later. The French didn’t like being beaten by the English, especially after the Prime Minister at the time, David Cameron, called them garlic eaters at a UN conference. Anyway, a meteor struck the Shard on the top floor, scraped it really. But five people died because of it. The remains of the meteor were never found, it was all very strange. It was all over the news, and the blame was on the astronomers of the time. How didn’t they see this? They had no answers. It just came out of the blue, they said. So, for about half a year or so, they were all on high alert, looking for whatever. But after this time period the hype calmed down, and all was back to normal. A year later, the second meteor hit, in a desert thankfully, a big one it was, 20 meters. It would have destroyed a big chunk of a city. Again, high alert, and many questions to be asked.  However, it all died down again, all very comical it was.

There was a new kid on the block at a newly built observatory in Scotland, his name was Zero. He was brought up to try and fit in, and not to look at anyone funny. It was weird, because by the mid 21^st Century, you were always told to stand out. You were told to dye your hair, be bright, be bold. That’s why when ‘designer babies’ became legal in 2040 all the celebrities made their children ginger. They were all trying to give a homage to the recently deceased David Bowie. It all kind of back fired, because there were so many ginger babies about, and there was a big back lash to the ‘designer baby’ law, and it became illegal again fifteen years later. So there was just a generation of ginger people which have all died out now. So by Zero’s time everyone had gone back to brown and blond hair, all the same. They all wore white turtle necks, and they all wore red blazers. It was a very strange time. Anyway, Zero had a big interest in the stars, every since he was a little lad. He looked up into the stars one evening and realised something was wrong, something was missing. There was a blackness were his favourite star would be. He called someone in to clarify he wasn’t going mad. The news spread and in Zero’s mind he was surprised nobody had realised before. It was kept a secret for many months, and everyone involved was looking at it. To everyone’s dismay the blackness was getting bigger.

NASA was informed and their conclusion was that this blackness was in our Solar System and heading towards earth. NASA started to build a rocket to investigate, a non manned mission that is. It was launched on the 25^th December 2193, it headed for the blackness, and the images that were sent back were staggering. It was a prism shape, massive it was, heading exactly for Earth. By the images it seemed to be miles long. And to everyone’s dismay it seemed to have a hatch at the front it. A manned mission was needed. It was risky, but urgently needed. Astronauts by the names of David and Frank headed for the unknown phenomena. I’m not going to go into too much detail, but they landed on a ledge at the front of the cylinder and headed towards the door. It was plain and black, but with what looked like a lock in the middle of it. And to their absolute shock there was a mat in front of the door. Frank looked under it and there was a key. It was all very surreal. They let themselves in. David said that on his reader the air was fine to breathe, they took their helmets off, and gave cautious breaths. After years of training of what clean air was supposed to smell like they believed it was fine. They were greeted by a spiral of stairs. There was some gravity, but not as much as on earth, so it was a very strange feeling indeed. They couldn’t jog down the stairs, it was physically impossible, so they had to descend into the darkness very slowly, which gave them time to think about what was down there. The short answer was: they had no idea. The descent took what felt like an hour, no words were said between David and Frank in that time. Very eerie indeed. They came to the last step, and by the little torches on their helmets they could see a button on a stand. What else would they do apart from press it? Green and red lights illuminated a path into more darkness. They followed it, and at the end there was a table, with two seats, they were red surrounded by blackness. They sat down to talk to one another. They discussed their predicament and asked what they were going to do next. The answers were short and few.

‘Did you bring any of the food capsules?’ David asked after a moment of silence.

‘No, that was your job.’ Frank replied.

‘What do you mean? I specifically asked you to bring them.’

 ‘That’s not the case.’                                                                                                     

 ‘Chaps!’ An unknown voice echoed everywhere.

The two nearly had a heart attack, and being astronauts, that’s quite a feat. A light shone across the table and illuminated an odd looking face. It looked human, but most defiantly wasn’t. There was something odd about it. Nothing moved when it talked, apart from the mouth. Its teeth were Tipex white and its hair was too black to be human. The hair crossed diagonally across his forehead, and he had a little toothbrush mustache. It continued to talk.

‘Chaps, we have plenty to eat, do you wish to eat with me. My family has gone out for the day. To the planet Mars in fact. Do you know it?

‘Yeah, sure we’ve heard of it.’ Frank quivered.

‘We’ve got cow, I think that’s how you pronounce it. Pig, and toast. Any of those take your fancy?’

The two astronauts looked at each other in despair.

‘Well, it’s rude to keep people waiting, that’s what they say on your planet isn’t it?’

‘Toast, please.’ Frank and David said in unison.

‘Very well, young chaps. How old are you, I forgot to ask.’

‘37.’ Frank answered.

‘34’. Second David.

 ‘Bloody hell you twats.’ The weird thing said in a cockney accent, it had switched from upper class to cockney, strange wasn’t even the word to describe the situation. ‘That’s a bit young ain’t it? Me and the misses are 768, well she’s actually 39 kasd younger than me. That’s months to you, I think. We were told to leave our planet because it’s strange if you marry a woman younger than you… 34 and 37, bloody hell. I’ll be back with your toast.’

Frank and David were physically shaking; they were looking at each other not knowing what to say. The weird thing, returned with black toast, smothered in a green gloop of something. To draw the attention away from it, Frank tried to make conversation.

‘So how long have you been on the run?’

‘324 seihhi; that’s years to you.’

‘Why are you not speaking in a different language?’

‘I lived on your planet for fifty six seihhi, went travelling, and then came back.’

‘Oh really? What? Were you human?’

‘By golly yes.’

‘Did you like it there?’

‘Not really?’

‘Why?’

‘I didn’t really like anyone, and they all had different beliefs, and they didn’t really look the same. I like you two chaps, you look similar. I tried to make a change. I killed 20 million people.’

Frank and David looked at each other once again.

‘Come on, eat up, it took me ages to make that.’ The weird thing continued.

‘I’m not really hungry anymore.’ David said.

‘What?! It took me seihhi to make that. You know what? Forget it, you ungrateful bitch. I’ll just put it in the bloody bin then. You twat!’

And with that, the weird thing sprung from his chair and put the toast in the middle of the table, and pushed a button under the table. The toast was sucked up into a big hoover, and a screen of earth filled up half of the room. The astronauts saw a tiny ball plummeting to the earth and after it was through the atmosphere it ballooned out to the size of a football pitch and was heading right for New York. It hit. It destroyed about 95% of the city, and would have killed millions of people.

‘What have you done?’ David bellowed.

‘Humans are rubbish; I just did you a favour.’

‘My Nan lived there!’ David screamed.

‘Oh, I’m sorry.’

The weird thing got up from his seat suddenly, put his small hands on the men’s heads. After that the men disappeared, and all they saw was white. The next thing they knew was that David was inside his Nan’s body and Frank was inside her husband’s. They looked at each other, and screamed. They ran to the window and saw a meteor heading directly towards them. They died.

Next was nothing.

 D.R. Hayes

An Enigma of Cake

So my friend and I were sitting outside of time. I would love to tell you what the place looked like, except, I really can’t. Imagine an empty void, with two beings within this void. My friend wanted some cake. “What the heck is that?” I asked.

“I came across it in a book I decided to read because I forgot how to read and I needed to learn how to read again. It’s this tasty, often sweet form of food made by humans”.

I stared at my friend. I continued to stare at my friend. He seemed rather annoyed by my constant staring, so he said “What? Quit staring at me like that, it’s creepy”

“What are humans?” I had no idea what humans were.

“Oh, they’re just this race of life form that was the main inhabitants of this planet called Earth. They eventually led the planet to destruction and wiped out their own entire race.”

“And how did that happen?”

“I couldn’t understand. Something about this thing called twerking and an invention called the internet. It didn’t really matter. What interested me was cake.”

“Oh okay. Well…why? What’s so good about this ‘cake’?” I really couldn’t see the appeal. I was beginning to lose interest until he said something interesting and so I stopped losing interest.

“Not only is it incredibly tasty, fun and colourful, it’s awesome as well.”

“Woah, awesome?”

“Yeah, awesome.” I needed a piece of this cake. I just had this sudden desire to eat all the cake I could. “Where did you read that it was awesome?” I asked.

“Apparently, these things called ‘advertisements’ that humans used to make other humans buy things said so”. I honestly didn’t care about humans anymore. I didn’t care about anything anymore. All I wanted was cake. I gripped my friends head and whispered violently “WHERE. IS. THE. CAKE. I NEED IT.” My friend stared at me in a mixture of incredible fear and confusion you’d have thought he was looking at the monster of his nightmares, who had just murdered his family, turn to him and ask him if he had a spare sock. It was an incredible sight. I was staring at his face in marvel.

“Er..the cake..c-can only be found, on earth. And quit…staring at me…like that. I told you it creeps me out so much”

“Sorry”

“it’s okay”

“So, earth it is then?”

“Earth it is”

“I thought you said, Earth got destroyed”

“Well, yeah, it did, kinda. It’s now just a big ball of dust. We can still travel there using the fridge.”

“My fridge or your fridge?”

“My fridge I guess”

“I hate your fridge”

“Your fridge then”

“No it’s okay we’ll go with your fridge”

So, by a product of our imagination, we entered his fridge even though, technically, it doesn’t actually exist. Through thought alone we entered his fridge of travel. It was rather cramped in all honesty. We should have gone in separate fridges. But it was too late now. So, we both stood there, in his fridge, outside of time and existence, my nose rubbing against his eye. “Could you..uhh..get your nose out of my eye?”

“I’m afraid not”

“That’s ok.”

We both stood there. We carried on standing there, until my curiosity got the better of me, “When are you gonna launch this thing?”

“Oh yeah, that’s what I forgot” So my friend sets the fridge in motion. It tore through the barriers of space and time. As usual with fridge travel, for an incredibly small instant unrecognisable to any life form throughout the universe, I could see everything. I could touch everything. I understood everything. I could feel everything. I could smell everything. But before I had time to do anything, I couldn’t do anything.

“Well, here we are” said my friend. We stepped out of the fridge into a broken world. Torn buildings stood tall above flowing rivers of dust. Broken vehicles of travel rusted on the sides of-

“Sweet, so, where’s the cake?” I asked. My attention span got the better of me. All I wanted was cake.

“We need to find a something called a cake ‘shop’. It stores a lot of cake.”

“Is that it?” I pointed to a building quite small amidst the buildings that surrounded it. Pictures of a delicious looking food that resembled my friends’ description of cake covered the windows. “No” he answered. I stared at my friend.

“Seriously dude, stop staring at me”

“Sorry, but, I’m pretty sure that’s it.”

“So why do you have to stare at me then?”

“To see if you’re being serious”

“I’m being serious; I don’t think that’s it.”

“I think it is.”

“Fine then, let’s go in.” He then murmured something under breath so loudly that it wasn’t really a murmur. But, because the intention of the loud murmur was for it to be said quietly without anyone hearing, I shall respect this and not tell you what he murmured. We entered the cake shop.

“CAAAKKE!?” I questioned in a scream.

“CAAAKKE!” he answered in a scream.

I grabbed the nearest cake, a spectacle of colours. I took a bite. A wonderful spongy texture filled my mouth, the sweet taste made lust for another one, and many more. “This is wonderful” I said, after finishing my forty second cake. I turn around to see what my friend was doing. He wasn’t doing anything. He was just..staring at me. “Dude, quit staring at me, it’s creepy.”

“Sorry.”

“Did you have any cake?”

“Yeah, didn’t like it that much.”

“Well, I love it. Can we go back now? I’m gonna bring loads of cake with us. Life is so much better now with cake.”

“Yeah sure.”

We both left the cake shop with each of us holding a bag of many cakes, heading home, away from the now cakeless earth.

-

nasnasnasnasnasnasnasnasnasnasnasnasnasnasnasnas

Jack Daniels and Champagne

Round my hometown, where I grew up 

Stomach tied in knots, I nearly threw up. 

Seeing them wealthy motherfuckers overweight, 

So much to eat on their plate and every time that I wake

Provide another way 

For me to eat once today and I will get it 

The ones that thought we're only niggers, gonna regret it 

They overlooked, so they don't understand 

That the 'N' is for 'Never.Ignorant.Getting.Goals.Accomplished'

If you want the Throne you got to more than want it. 

Run-down parks and worn-down paths and 

Food didn't last, yeah it just expired

To be the number one has always been my desire 

Now when I say I'm hungry, I want success 

As in from shit takeaways and bits of green on bread 

To  French  dinners I don't know how to pronounce yet 

From JDs to the...wait... I don't even know the name 

But just give the most expensive champagne. 

Drink away the pain but then what do you gain? 

Know your worth, know you hold more to your name. 

We want to eat good but how much are you willing to pay? 

Rejection

Rejection in love
Rejection in society
Rejection in friendship
Rejection in the family

Filling up with emotion
Like a buffet at the carvery
Cuts too deep to mend
A long time it feels to recovery

A cold heart to the bitter end
And a fake smile till they call me a friend
No matter how close you once were
The distance is now forever in their favour

Falling in love
Ends in rejection or death
You've either found the one
Or you're left in a mess

Rejection in love
Rejection in society
Rejection in friendship
Rejection in the family

REJECTION

9 year old boy arrested for murder; a crime that shocked the nation

James Houston. Age 19. I moved to Croydon when I was 15, after my parents had a rocky break up, my Mum decided it would be best start a new life. ‘Where did you live before?’ Oh, you probably wouldn’t have heard of it, it’s a small village in the middle of nowhere. ‘I recognise you from somewhere’ Yeah people always say that to me, I’ve just got one of them faces. ‘why are you acting so weird?’ Why all the questions?

I’ve learnt every trick in the book now. It’s all about being vague, but not too vague, and then you sort of change the subject. Or if in doubt just deflect the questions… Why are you asking? Living under a false name has become pretty easy; my life depends on people believing I’m James Houston. James Houston has friends, people who care about him, who don’t judge him…  But I don’t.

It was a mistake; I was too young to understand the consequences of my actions. He bullied me for years, it never stopped… I thought I was the only person who could stop it. I was a scared and angry child but not an evil one. Before I knew it was all other the papers, people were threatening me, they would write horrible things and put them through my door. Really horrible things. I was hated by society. Rejected. Outcast. Even my own family despised me.

I wanted people to understand why I did it, what drove me to it. But before I knew it I was front page news; ‘murderer’… ‘Murderer’… ‘Murderer’… I was too young to be arrested; I was put into a secure unit for ‘children like me’. The threats got worse and worse. It was not only me who faced rejection, my mother lost her job, her friends; she would receive hate mail, and abuse everyday. They blamed her for raising a criminal.

So I left my ‘life’ behind and became James Houston.

What I don’t understand is, society accepts James Houston; they accept the way he looks, the way he speaks, the choices he makes. I look just like James Houston, I speak the same as him, act the same, make the same choices as him, but I will never be accepted. One day of my past will always define how people see me. One mistake I’ve made. A terrible one. But take away that one day, that one hour of my life and James Houston is me.

Rejection.

JASMIN EVE

rejection by Rakulan Sivalingam

Rejection

The forgotten clench of his mothers warm embrace, lost him into a puzzle of thought.

A presence of isolation, A feeling he had once fought.

 Standing alone in a crowded room; so loud, yet so quiet.

A quest to search for his beloved, conquering through the riot.

Putrid stenches getting rid of the aroma, the wintry shivers tearing through his under- developed spine.

The brittle glare of the man in white startled the young soul. It was 12:09.

The man in white gripped the sharp knife, exuding his vile mannerisms.

The young soul stepped backwards, falling into a stack of prisms.

He fell into a state of shock, petrified of this loneliness.

Like a small pawn, in this huge game of chess.

Numerous people were rushing around, pushing the youth.

Lights illuminating through the pitch black darkness in the booth.

‘’Tom, are you here?. Can you come to the counter?’’

Tom raced to the counter in a desperate search of hope. He found her.

Tom had lost his mother in Asda;

He had finally found his ma.

B - A Story about Rejection

The school playground, full of sweaty faces, stressed teachers and swearing teens. With this, it holds many different sections. Let me list them for you: 

-          The cool section

-          The geeky section

-          The sporty section

-          The poncy section

And then there is Alex’s section. Alex didn’t really fit into any of the sections above. He was turned down by every single group in one way or another. 

First of all, he tried to enter the lowest of the low, the ‘geeky’ group. Alex tucked in his discoloured shirt and tried to iron out the creases with his hands. He also let his hair fall flat and didn’t touch it in the morning. He walked over to the corner of the playground, just behind the goal posts; this is where they stayed, as to distance themselves from any ‘predators’. He took a deep breath and crept into the hustle of people, I say hustle, but it only consisted of five, they were just on the larger side and took up a fair amount of room. Alex started off with a simple, ‘Alright?’ The main ‘leader’ replied fairly friendly, ‘Oh, hi; Alex right?’ Alex gave a slight nod, and asked what they were doing. One of the other boys bluntly said, ‘Don’t worry, you won’t get it.’ ‘Try me.’ Alex quickly replied. The boy swung his ruck-sack around, unzipped it, and retrieved Plato’s book, The Republic, this was after rummaging through banana skins and ten year old comics. Alex had heard of the book, but only briefly in a few religious lessons. Alex didn’t care much for religion, he thought how people could think there is a man in the sky who looks at us, knows what we think, and has a list of ten things what we can and can’t do. So therefore, what he had heard of The Republic he liked. However, he had never read the book and sort of wished he had now. Out of stupidity he confidently said, ‘It’s a great book ain’t it? I read it a year or two ago.’ The group could see right through his lies, but due to their own entertainment carried on talking about the subject matter in hand. Alex tried desperately to keep up, but to no avail. He returned home at 4:00 p.m, dropped his bag on the floor next to his cluttered desk, and collapsed on his bed and let out a faint moan. 

He gave up attempting to mingle with the ‘geeks’ due to numerous embarrassments. He left it a couple of weeks before he approached a different group. During his time of ‘relaxation’ at school (lunch times) he used to sit by himself on the stairs leading up to the library, with his headphones plunked on his head. What he listened to was not what the ordinary boy would listen to at his age. It was mostly jazz and what people around him would call ‘old music’. Alex was also interested in a wide range of films as well. His favorites were Chinatown, Sunset Boulevard and 2001: A Space Odyssey. He hated blending into the crowd especially regarding arts, he wanted to be different. He thought very lowly of the people around him, he thought they were tasteless, uninteresting and most of all, seeking for the most attention possible. Alex’s dream was to be able to find someone, preferably a girl, that shared the same interests that he had, was this so much to ask? Well, yes, at the age he’s at, it’s very hard to find someone with a mature taste. Alex believed he was like this because he was an only child and only raised by those who were 45 and above. 

On the week of the 20^th of October he tried to take on another challenge, to get into the ‘cool’ social group. This was not an easy feat. To prepare himself he bought gel, lots of it, and did some sit ups, he wasn’t much good at these. He noticed that the guys that were in this group tried to be different, but by doing so, changed into everybody else. He strolled over to the group, trying to look sleek, with not a care in the world… to cut a long story short, he ended up with a black eye at the end of the week. Not only did he accidently insult every one of the participants, but he took the piss out the way they talk, walk and dress. He didn’t even mean it! It was safe to say he wouldn’t be joining that group. 

Weeks passed and in that time period he strived to join at least one group, but the poncy and sporty group denied him access. To be fair he was rubbish at sport, his legs were so thin you thought they were going to snap if he kicked a football. And yes, although he liked arts, the poncy group tried desperately to be somebody they weren’t, but this could be said for most groups. 

Since that he was now on holiday and had time to think things over. He came to the conclusion whilst lying on his bed listening to Joy Division that he should just give up and be totally off the wall. His first step was to go to the hairdressers; his hair was the most average hair any one did ever see. It was a dark blonde, slightly gelled up and just overall, very bland. He went just to get a trim and spike it up a lot more, so it looked extreme. But whilst he was sitting on the soft leather chair waiting to be seen, he noticed hair dye on a shelf behind him. He whizzed over all of the colours and saw the most outrageous one… ginger. He left the hairdressers looking… different, that’s all that could be said. He went home, opened up his laptop, and directed himself straight to a clothing website. Now, that he was entering six form he had to by a suit. And what was his instinct? To buy a yellow suit of course, along with a fedora. He was all set for school; he only needed to wait five days until he could see the results. 

The first day of school he arrived and Alex rolled up with his yellow suit, fedora, smoking a cigarette, whilst listening to David Bowie. He sure got some weird old looks on the way, but he just kept his head down, dragging on his cig. Weeks passed and he sat on the same step listening to his music at break and lunch times. 

One Tuesday afternoon, a girl came up to him, she had brunette hair, dark eyebrows, beautifully applied eye liner and wore dark lipstick. She asked Alex if he wanted a smoke. Alex nodded his head and gave a slight smile to her. They sneaked outside; the teachers always leave the back gates open so they could have their own drag. They strolled out; they turned the corner and saw an English teacher enjoying a cigarette. So they jumped back around and legged it in the opposite direction. They finally came to a stand still, panting and looking around. They still hadn’t spoken a word to each other apart from her question a few minutes ago; they looked at each other and smiled again. Alex reached into his inside pocket and retrieved a box of smokes. He placed one is his mouth and placed another in hers. She then followed up, lit his and then hers. They smiled again. After taking a few drags, Alex finally said, ‘So what’s your name?’ She said softly, ‘B’. She blew her smoke away from his face and said ‘What about you?’ Alex said, ‘A’. She smiled and threw her fag on the floor, put the sole of her foot on it and twisted. She bounced back to the school gates. Alex stayed there for a few minutes, shook his head and left. 

The two outcasts met liked this for a few weeks, only finding out little things about each other at a time, and only knew themselves as A and B. Alex discovered she liked film, music and books, especially To Kill a Mockingbird. This was going well for him. Apart from one thing… he didn’t really enjoy smoking. One rainy afternoon in their usual meeting spot, Alex picked up enough courage to ask her to go to the cinema. She nodded and asked when. He had a think, he pretended like he was recalling what he was doing this week, but the fact was that his life was very mundane and boring. But finally he said, ‘Saturday? I’ll meet you at the cinema.’ She nodded and said goodbye. They went to the cinema a couple of times that month and really enjoyed the art of acting. 

A year passed and they attended acting clubs and plays, they really appreciated them. The downside was that they weren’t really enjoying each other’s company; they bickered about the littlest of things. It was inevitable they were going to split, and Alex was devastated. His position in school had sky rocketed, he was seen as a rebel even though he didn’t do anything, it was just the fact that he kept his outside life secret and didn’t blabber about what he did at the weekend. Funny enough though, he didn’t care about any of that since he was with B. But that was all going to come crumbling down. When they finally sat down to talk and make the deed final, they just looked at each other, knew what they were both going to say, smiled and gave one last hug. They both went their separate ways. 

Ten years later Alex was eating lunch with a friend, he had met him just after B left. Alex’s acting career had picked up; he had been in a few crap TV dramas and was in quite a lot of plays, it was all looking good. His phone rang, he pulled it out of his tight jean pocket and had just enough time to look at the caller ID, and it was his agent. ‘Do you mind?’ Alex asked his mate, the friend shook his head. Alex dispersed from the table and went outside. He returned to the table a few minutes later with quite a shock on his face. ‘And?’ the friend questioned. ‘I’ve just been offered a role in a film, sounds big budget.’ ‘Who’s in it?’ the friend asked.

‘B’. 

D. R. HAYES